Mental Health

It's amazing how things change as we go through life. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember.

But also one thing I remember from as far back as middle school was the negative stigma attached to certain drugs. In particular Prozac. We'd even joke as kids about how "that kid needs some Prozac," thinking it was a cure for anyone out of the norm.

This week I started seeing a new psychiatrist. One who is more active in medication management, since my old one had me on the same cycle of Celexa and Lexapro for the last few years. We'd steadily up the dose for one until I hit max, then switch to the other and repeat.

Celexa definitely works better for me.

She looked at my records and talked to my therapist (they're in the same medical group so they have a shared record system and authorization to collaborate on my health care) and decided to go a new route.

So now I'm one of those kids on Prozac. And while I was able to joke about it with my boss, and it's something that I'm owning and being open about; it's also something that as I look back, I feel a pretty bad about joking about. Even if it was when I was significantly younger. But it means that I can recognize that I've grown as a person. I'm seeing my mistakes and addressing them.

Even if just internally.

I don't know what will happen next, but I think it will help in a time of personal struggle and growth.

I'm also trying, for the third time, to actively do more cognitive behavioral therapy. I have a lot of trouble with the exercises in the past. I'm still having trouble, but I'm asking for more help this time; rather than getting frustrated and giving up.